


Texting 101: Always Double Check

by GinnyRose



Category: The Last Hours Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alastair Carstairs is a Little Shit, Alastair is a Dramatic Bitch, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Cordelia is Tired, Cordelia is a Good Sister, Crack, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Group chat, Happy Ending, Humor, M/M, Matthew Fairchild is a Little Shit, POV Multiple, Short One Shot, Text Messages, Texting, Texting the wrong person, The Merry Thieves Try, Thomas Lightwood is Pure, Time Skips, but only slight, lightstairs - Freeform, overuse of emojis, pure fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-18
Updated: 2020-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:47:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23176447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GinnyRose/pseuds/GinnyRose
Summary: 16 MARCH AT 10:57 PMI need you to kill mewhy this time?I texted the WRONG LIGHTWOODOr: Alastair meant to text his best friend about his hopeless crush but ends up sending it to the absolute last person who should see it. Chaos ensues.AKA the Text Messaging AU no one asked for but I wrote anyway.
Relationships: Alastair Carstairs & Cordelia Carstairs, Alastair Carstairs/Thomas Lightwood, Cordelia Carstairs & Lucie Herondale, Lucie Herondale & Thomas Lightwood
Comments: 24
Kudos: 343





	Texting 101: Always Double Check

** 16 MARCH AT 10:57 PM **

**Sister**

I need you to kill me

???????

why this time?

I texted the WRONG LIGHTWOOD

oh NO

** 16 MARCH at 10:57 PM **

**Anna Lightwood (Cousin)**

Skjsdkjlsdfjflk ANNA

ANNA

ANNA

ANNNNAAAAA

I’m with Ariadne, come back later.

**16 MARCH at 11:04 PM**

**THE MERRY THIEVES**

GUYS I NEED HELP

JH: what happened?!

MF: Did Christopher get arrested again?

CL: that only happened once, you know.

MF: once is too many times to need bail money

GUYS FOCUS

ALASTAIR JUST SENT ME THIS

WHAT DO I DO?!?!?!?!?!?!

JH: alastair as in daisy’s brother alastair?!

CL: obviously. It says his full name right on the top.

NOT THE POINT RIGHT NOW.

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY?!?!?!

MF: Well

MF: Since you’ve wanted to dick him down since hs, I’d suggest taking him up on his offer.

JH: I thought we banned the phrase dick him down after the frat boy incident last year?

MF: My apologies, I forgot you were a prude

MF: I should’ve said since you’ve lovingly wanted to take all his clothes and make sweet, sweet love to him until he can’t remember his own name since hs, you should go for it.

I CANT SAY ANY OF THAT

MF: Fine then. Just send him 🍆🍑

No words needed. 

CL: does that actually work? 

MF: Of course it does. How do you think I always get guys to take me out for free drinks? 😉

NONE OF THIS IS HELPING!!!!!!!!!

**16 MARCH at 10:58 PM**

**Sister**

what are you going to do?!

obviously, if you aren’t going to kill me I have no choice but to fake my own death and move to another country.

I’ve heard Canada is nice

you hate moose

they aren't that bad

you actually once went on a 15 min rant about how moose were mother nature’s ugly stepchildren left over from her divorce from the ice age

I was drunk!

you cant hold wine days against me

maybe that’s what I should do

drink until I forget I ever said anything

Ari left some cheap vodka here from our last party

NO VODKA !!!!

you’re AWFUL on vodka

I'm not that bad

YOU TEXTED CHARLES LAST TIME YOU DRANK VODKA

so?

we had JUST broken up!

how do you even have that?!

I screenshotted it after taking your phone and then sent it to myself

I knew I would need it for this exact moment. No vodka

fine. What do you suggest then?

obviously we bring in an expert

Anna's on a date with Ari

I was thinking a different expert.

**16 MARCH at 11:09 PM**

**The Beautiful Cordelia 🌼🌼🌼**

I have an emergency and I need your help

you know I always got you

What's up?

hold on, I'm making a group

**16 MARCH at 11:10 PM**

**Lucie Herondale**

HELP

always what’s up?

Alastair accidently sent me a text meant for Anna

it said he wanted to climb me like a tree!!!!!

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHa

**16 MARCH 11:11 PM**

**Herondale #2 & Sister**

lucie is your expert?

H: f you Alastair I’m amazing

S: now is not the time. we have a situation!

H: is this about how Alastair told Thomas he wants to climb him like a tree?

how do you know that???

H: I know things! like a cuter Tyrion Lannister

S: Thomas texted you didnt he?

H: I never reveal my sources Daisy

H: anyways whats the big deal? Its not like you thirsting over Thomas was a secret

it was to HIM

H: only because hes an idiot. Loveable but dumb

S: insulting Thomas isn't going to fix the problem

S: im sure we can come with something to help

no

I no longer want any help. I found the vodka and Ive got dads credit card

I’m going to drink until buying a ticket to Paris seems reasonable

S: NO

H: ooh, you have vodka?

H: let’s have this conversation in person 🍸🍸

S: LUCIE NO

I take back I what I said earlier

lucie is an expert. Layla youre fired

**16 MARCH at 11:33 PM**

**Lucie Herondale**

THAT DOESN'T HELP

Please just tell me what I should do because I’m really freaking out and no one has been any help

you like him dont you? Just tell him that

I can't just tell him!

why not?

listen, he put himself out there and granted it wasnt on purpose but he did and so now you got to step up

be a man!

but not in a gross sexist way

in a cute romantic way

I cant just tell him I like him over text!

then come over

im with him btw

YOU’RE WITH HIM?!?!

ya we're about to drink screwdrivers

?!?!!?!?!

dont ask questions you don’t want answers to, Thomas

just come over and be all romantic and get your man

itll be such a cute story!!

How much have you already drank?

none don’t be rude 😠

you wanna come over and declare your love or not?

but what if he doesn’t actually like me like that?

What if its just sexual or it was only a joke?

I have it in good authority that Alastair likes you the way you like him. I promise its not just sexual or a joke

Just come over and talk to him

... I'll be there in 10

**17 MARCH at 12:02 AM**

**The Beautiful Cordelia 🌼🌼🌼**

LUCIE

LUCIe

LUCIE

LUCIE

LUCIE

I’m going to keep spamming you until you message me back

LUCIE

LUCIE

I cant believe you’re drinking with my brother right now

if I wasnt out of town, you’d be in so much trouble

LUCIE

relax Daisy Im not with Alastair

what?

ya, I left his place like 20 min ago

it would have been kind of awkward with Thomas there

what

yep he came over and made a super cute confession

I figured theyd want some privacy so I left 

be kind of weird for Alastair to practice his climbing skills if his little sisters best friend was there

WHAT

**17 MARCH at 8:55 AM**

**Sister**

ALASTAIR

ALASTAIR

alright, Lucie told me what happened so I’ll stop spamming you

but I want details in the morning

and im happy for you ♥♥♥

well, i will no longer be leaving the country

**17 MARCH at 8:55 AM**

**THE MERRY THIEVES**

Hey guys sorry I disappeared last night

We worked it out

MF: WE???????? 🤔😏😈🍆🍑

**17 MARCH at 9:33 AM**

**Thomas**

okay, I just dropped Ariadne off at class

What was your emergency last night?

**Author's Note:**

> So, I'm stuck at home social distancing for the foreseeable future, so I decided to have some fun and play around with a writing format I really like but have never used. It was a lot of fun conveying a story only through text messages, although I had a bit of difficulty formatting it (I hope it made sense!) and making sure it was clear who was texting when. This was definitely just for fun and should not at all be taking seriously but I hoped you enjoyed it!


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